worth the words

drowning in shallow water
it happens
sometimes, we’re just
the field of daisies, not the rose
bound tight in red velvet – thorns in
sometimes, we’re just
the length of soft white sacrifice
closing eyes and accepting the craving
the blame
the fever
we are a modern disaster
full of hopes and ever-afters
waiting for the golden blur – the interlude
buying into the dream
and I’m still deciding
if this was worth the words

M.

 

On my own

I thought for a long time whether or not I should make a post about what I’m about to tell you.

When I started this blog in June of 2010 I didn’t expect it to go very far. I thought maybe I would tire after a few weeks and give up like so many other things I’ve tried to do. But I didn’t. And I’m still here. I’m still here because I’ve been true to myself and have been true to readers.

I’ve been full of negativity lately, I haven’t been posting as a result. If you look back on some of my postings from previous months you’ll notice the name Aaron pop up a lot. He was my common law husband for the past 4 years. We’ve been seperated now for a while.

Some people say a blog is no place to discuss personal things such as break ups – my response to that?  Don’t read my blog then. I post all sorts of things on here because this blog is a little piece of me. Or more so, a huge piece of me.

I wish I could tell you that it ended well and that I’m okay, but I’m not really. This is going to take a while. But I want to tell you so that it’s finalized for me. I’ve been going through so many different feelings but I need to stop what I’m doing to myself and reclaim my brain.

And hey, seeing as how I’m breaking blog-code already with relationship stuff, I might as well throw in a cliché. “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Right? I hope so.

Hopefully next time I write it will be something more upbeat, or at least have some sweet photos.

M.