M.I.A.

When the words escaped from my mouth I didn’t believe them either.
There’s a reason behind everything,
A truth behind the lie.
We all do the best we can,
Not knowing what lies ahead.
“I’m fine,” she said..
But her eyes told a story that her mouth could not.
Tugging on my drawstrings, you mistook them for heartstrings.
Just as the breath was drawn,
I swallowed it whole.
Just when the words escaped,
I wanted them back.
I took a page from the book of logic,
But I should have buried it with my regret.
Hope
Remains
To be seen.

M.

“You’re beautiful.”

I dig my toes into the snow
trying to remember
how to feel.

“You’re beautiful.”

Every word registers
but doesn’t retain.
I’ve never been a believer.

I dig my toes into the sand
trying to recall
if this was ever real.

“You’re beautiful.”

Every word registers
and I refrain.
I’ve never been a believer.

I toss a flower at your grave and I
wonder how we got here.
All those lost years.
I could have been better.
I could have let you in.

I dig my toes into the soil.
All your words now register; retain.
It was always real.

“You’re beautiful,” the wind whispers…

Thank you.

M.

Mismanagement

I think of you as if no time has passed.

No leaves have fallen, nor snow,

since that day.

That moment my heart cracked into three pieces –

one for you

one for me

and one for the life that would never exist.

I hear it in every song.

I feel it in every breeze.

I taste it, like copper,

thrown into dusty corners and forgotten.

I wait for it,

every second.

Somehow you’ve managed to make me invisible to myself.

I look in the mirror and I don’t know what I see. Just shapes.

Lines.

Curves.

Hardened eyes.

Today I held a piece of the earth in my hands and poured myself to the ground in droplets.

They say your whole life flashes before your eyes when you die.

I hope you’re excluded.

M