I learned from the girl

i learned from the girl that lives inside of me
saying no is harder than saying yes
being gentle takes practice
and hate is easier than love

i learned from the girl that lives inside of me
that somedays just being is a chore
that my thoughts are like a crossword i can’t finish
and extra effort is not always rewarded

i learned from the girl that lives inside of me
that there is no greater light than a reached goal
there is no greater love than self love
and a smile is often enough

i learned from the girl that lives inside of me
that i won’t always have the answers
that time will pass regardless of my schedule
and my best is all that is required

M.

awake

rest your back
your spine needs you now

rest your arms
your hand has a story to tell

rest your eyes
they’ve seen enough

rest your mind
there’s a time and place for me

rest your pen
there’s more than words can free

weed out my indiscretions
tell me i’ve learned my lesson
throw me under the bus
watch me squirm

i’ll be here in my fortune
finding things we lost in the disconnect

it may not seem like very much
but infinitely,
we soar.

M.

Carnage.
Carnage.

mistakes made twice

mistakes made twice

that sound that’s in the air,
that rings in your ears constantly during silence.
the hum.
the uncomfortable wait.
the “somebody, please, say something!”
another heart beat drops.
each minute you lose another piece of yourself.
numb hand.
numb arm.
numb face.
why did I do this?
eyes flicker on and off like high beams.
why couldn’t I have stayed home?
that split second the light goes out.
off by a millimeter.
tarnished hands hold the hour hand tightly.
the uncomfortable wait.
I close my eyes and imagine it didn’t happen.
imagine it’s 2008 and I’m there with my bushy tail.
I close my mouth and I hear my thoughts.
I wait for once.
for twice.
what am I doing?
really.
the hum.
that hum is deafening –
defining.
I close my mind and turn out the night.
I’ll file you under mistakes made twice.

M.