Ten Years

A few days ago marked the 10th anniversary of Color of Outdoors. Every year that goes by that this blog is still in existence I’m more amazed that I’ve kept it going. Life such as it is, I don’t get on here much anymore. I’m lucky to get one post a month, yer spoiled if you get more than that 😉 haha.

What have I learned in the last 10 years worth mentioning on here? Hmm..

Be more selfish. You’re important too.

I ain’t sorry.

It’s really important to have a good pair of shoes and a good bed, it makes life so much more tolerable.

Dogs are a necessity. End point.

You’ve got the rest of your life to pay your bills, don’t be so hard on yourself that you don’t get a treat now and then.

PREVENTATIVE MAINTENANCE.

Water. Drink more of that shit.

Speak the truth even if your voice shakes.

Wash your face.

Biking = freedom.

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My love to you all;

M.

The Fifth Chapter

Where do I go from here? Where have I been? Today is the fifth anniversary of my blog’s creation. My life has taken so many turns in these past five years that I find reflection rather difficult.

I thought about this event all week, what would I write on the day? These things are important to me; anniversaries, birthdays and random celebrations of life. It makes us reflect on our past and plan for what’s left ahead. It helps us to be thankful.

Every year I typically take stock of the positive experiences of the previous year, but rather than wait for months to go by I’ll point out a couple right now.

1. The completion of an online course on poetry writing: How Writers Write Poetry 2015 offered through Canvas.net from the University of Iowa. This was an eye-opening experience. It was great to be taught by some of the literary world’s heavyweights. The positive and constructive feedback from fellow poets was probably the greatest reward. I found myself becoming inspired during the class and writing immediately afterwords.

2. Tamarack Camera Club‘s invitation of Jeff Ducharme to Goose Bay for photography workshops, and also the Tamarack Camera Club’s debut exhibition at the Lawrence O’Brien Arts Centre. Two things I was so proud to have been apart of. Jeff was my instructor through my days at the College of the North Atlantic’s journalism program, and I’m happy to say we’ve been friends ever since.

Those are just two momentous things from the past month, but I actually post daily to tumblr life’s little joys – feel free to follow along.

I thought about whether I should mention this next part or not, but I think it’s fine that I do. Maybe even helpful. I found myself recently experiencing what the Internet refers to a ‘catfish‘ situation; whereby a person poses as someone else online in order to form a close relationship. Sometimes you never find out the truth and as long as you play along that’s how it’s going to be. My gut told me that what I was experiencing was false even though every single word of our conversations felt very real to me. When you’re being fed exactly what you wish to hear it’s hard to back away from what ‘feels’ genuine. But know this: if something feels too good to be true, 99% of the time IT IS. Ask questions, seek answers yourself if they aren’t answered – you may be blown away by what you find.

So where do I go from here? I don’t know that I go anywhere. I think here is a healthy medium. I’ve been writing so much, making photos, biking and strength training and eating well. Life is good.

It always makes me anxious to say that life is good, because while I know celebrating life is the key to making it even better, sometimes it just feels like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop – I guess the next step is just accepting that… it is what it is.

Take care of yourselves. And thank you for following my journey on Color of Outdoors (Travelling Infinity).

From the writers desk,

M.

 

On my own

I thought for a long time whether or not I should make a post about what I’m about to tell you.

When I started this blog in June of 2010 I didn’t expect it to go very far. I thought maybe I would tire after a few weeks and give up like so many other things I’ve tried to do. But I didn’t. And I’m still here. I’m still here because I’ve been true to myself and have been true to readers.

I’ve been full of negativity lately, I haven’t been posting as a result. If you look back on some of my postings from previous months you’ll notice the name Aaron pop up a lot. He was my common law husband for the past 4 years. We’ve been seperated now for a while.

Some people say a blog is no place to discuss personal things such as break ups – my response to that?  Don’t read my blog then. I post all sorts of things on here because this blog is a little piece of me. Or more so, a huge piece of me.

I wish I could tell you that it ended well and that I’m okay, but I’m not really. This is going to take a while. But I want to tell you so that it’s finalized for me. I’ve been going through so many different feelings but I need to stop what I’m doing to myself and reclaim my brain.

And hey, seeing as how I’m breaking blog-code already with relationship stuff, I might as well throw in a cliché. “Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” Right? I hope so.

Hopefully next time I write it will be something more upbeat, or at least have some sweet photos.

M.