weight

i can feel my heart pounding in my ears
it is not fear
it is just the weight
just
that i carry around, three times the average
gravitational pull
i am quick
i am fluent
but i am heavy
it is a burden
shared by my relations
(they like to remind me)
that someone prettier
skinnier
has it all, and then some
words stick to me like tape                    even if only said once
and i struggle to peel them off
to not repurpose the tape for their mouths
i am quick
i am fluent
but I am heavy
the weight of your resistance
is more than my legs can carry

M.

2 Comments

  1. Just another random thought.

    This is a subject I dislike, don’t get me wrong I think the writing is beautiful. My distaste lies only in the subject. Correct me if I am wrong, But this seems to be about a past relationship, one that has left some scars. The issue being physical appearance maybe?
    As person who spends a considerable amount of time lost in thought, self reflection, I can’t help but to add a thought here.
    If you see, only what others tell you they see, then you render yourself in nothing but darkness. That’s heavy.

  2. Mandy Joy Poole

    you are right in that it is about a relationship, but it is about the relationship i have with myself. it is about physical weight. it is a subject i don’t often talk about let alone share my thoughts about on my blog. thank you for sharing with me, no need to be anonymous though.

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