Monthly Archives: September 2014

Quiet

The kind of quiet you can’t understand
Without closed eyes
And weightless hands
No security in
Intertwinement
Just the echo of a heartbeat
Before your decision
A tender idea
Without closed eyes
We see a world more perfect than
Tiny hands can grasp and I
Find comfort in the intertwine
The days that I
Knew the quiet.

M.

Little Silver Linings

To be honest, they’re more like giant silver linings. The whole damn cloud is silver.

I’m Moving

Yes! I’m not leaving town though, I’m just moving from renting my (sooo me) bedroom in my friends house into my own place! I’ll be living in a cabin/cottage (with shower and WiFi, aka “the dream”) near the water just at the edge of town. I couldn’t be more excited to start this new chapter in my life. I can’t wait to make it my own. To sit and read near the giant living room window with the wood stove going with ________ by my side. Which leads me to my next point…

I’m adopting a dog!

I guess it wouldn’t come as such a surprise if you review the past two years of Travelling Infinity – there are a LOT of dog photos. However, all of those dogs weren’t mine. The awesome couple that I moved in with in January of 2013 have a number of dogs of their own and frequently foster dogs and puppies so my life was always full of woofs.

kimo in winterSince I lost my dog in 2010 I have felt this massive void in my heart. I didn’t want to really let any other dog in, and to be honest, I didn’t. Kimo was a huge part of my life. He was my very best friend and he always knew when I needed him most. Now that I’m moving into my own home I want someone/thing to help me transition, and seeing as how I’ll be living outside of town – and to my knowledge the only one in the area – it sure would be nice to have some company.

I’ve been checking out dogs available for adoption online and also stopped by the local SPCA to see what was there. I have my eye on one dog who is 2.5 years old, a Labrador-mix named Rusty. And I also walked another dog, a Rottie-X named Skully. I’ll be playing with both from time to time to see how they fit into my life, and with any hope, I’ll have a wonderful new companion before long.

I’m Changing my blog

DSC00321Travelling Infinity, name wise, has always represented one moment in my life for me. A moment that very few people know about, a moment that quickly made me realize how I was taking my life for granted and wasn’t looking at the bigger picture. When I attended college outside Labrador I was caught up in a lot of drama. I let everything get under my skin, and while it may not have been true, I felt like I had no one to turn to. I felt helpless and afraid, and I didn’t want to think anymore. I remember the moment as though it had happened a minute ago. I was lying in my bed staring at my ceiling with a bottle of pills in my hand. I couldn’t even see as I had been crying so much. I held on to the bottle so tight my hand started to hurt…

And then I woke up. It was the next morning and the bottle was on the floor. Still full. Unopened. That moment when my eyes opened I realized what I had almost done. I realized how many people I would have hurt had I taken the pills. I realized that most of my problems were centered around one person that caused me so, so much grief. I realized I was worth way more than the one person that came into my life and left like a strong gust of wind. I realized my family was right. My conscience, though buried, was right.

From that moment I knew things would get better. I had to keep going no matter what. And slowly my life got built into something I became proud of. Thus the name Travelling Infinity; keep going, forever.

That was nearly 8 years ago. Today I don’t find myself with those same struggles. I have found a greater confidence, I have learned to appreciate and value every relationship that comes into my life whether it’s for a season, a year, or forever. I admit I’ve done wrong by some people, but because of that event that happened 8 years ago I realized that life was short, and if you find yourself becoming unhappy then changes have to be made. It’s not always as simple as it looks on the outside. Everyone has their internal struggles, but you must think about yourself in the end.

And so…

I’ll soon be packing up for the move. I’m viewing and hoping to find the perfect four-legged companion. The quest begins for a new blog name. And I am ever, ever so thankful.

Love always,

M.

Who’s Face

I don’t know who’s face
To picture in the
Midnight hours
Between thinking and sleeping
Longing and breathing
When the moment holds itself eclipse
We’re passing through
Just thoughts nailed to a door
That never gets shut
I don’t know who’s face
Just like I don’t know my own
I lay awake burning
The bridge as it gets built
Longing and breathing
Until sleep says hello

M.

Learning To Swim

Our lives barely touching
coming together
in tiny moments
broken mesh
we carousel into one
a vilified mess
we forget ourselves
miss-step
and break apart
shards of metal
cold
sharp tongues
our lives barely touching

I pass you on the street
and I forget why I
am burning bridges
before I build a boat

This is me
learning to swim

M.